我生气了。
我在这边不停地替他人着想，很想减轻他们的负担，想让大家各忙各的，但事情发展到今天，实在太不如我意了，你跟我说你累，你累什么累呢？我都把担子扛起来了，你还敢说累？！还敢说什么我也已经很累 我应该回家休息，拜托，我就是因为你说帮忙帮到累了，要我把它们解决掉，我才每天来回岛与岛之间，阿姨们也别再问为什么我这么晚才到医院了，我的原因就是因为：他们不扛的，我扛。你们来到病房，就只有不停的问：为什么没做这个 为什么没给那个 医生说什么 为什么这里会这样 为什么那里是酱的 为什么食物吃不完 为什么这这这？为什么那那那？ 天啊！！！ 你像我一样的做多一点点 探他多一点点 陪他久一点再学如何从病人的角度去想他要的是什么，你会找到答案的。假如有一天我遇状况了，不同宗教信仰的你，会为我向主耶稣祷告么？你会为我翻开圣经唱爱的箴言么？当你在说-为他好-这三个字的时候，我真心希望那都是从他的出发点去想。
为他，我一定点也不累，我该怕的都不怕了，看见他我就安心，任他发脾气什么的我也不在乎，因为我有更重要的目标，就是要他开心的活下去，他值得他曾经所拥有的。我会累，是因为我要应对的人与事，太煎熬我的思绪了，神又在考验我了，我需要更多的智慧和能量去抵挡那些煎熬我的对白 和解决那些他们帮不上忙的事，我也感激上天对我的看顾，我总有谅解我的朋友 谅解我的同事 谅解我的家人 还有谅解我的自己。你们不会明白，那么多在谅解我帮忙我和聆听我的朋友，其实都在帮了你们许许多多，没有这些天使们，我也没办法去扛你们扛不了的。
别再低估我的能量小宇宙了，我只要你想，想一想：“换成是我，我要我的亲人爱人怎么样？” （认真的想一想吧）
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Yes, I am angry.
Just less than 3 months, and you're telling me you are tired, yet, you kept mentioning to me that you're gonna do things that's good for "long-term". What is LONG TERM now?
I never deny your intention, I know all of us trying our best for him, but can we not to set the limit other than the dollars? You all asking me to STOP, REST, and RELAX, have you ever ask me if these are what I need now? I need to force myself to go "somewhere" to pretend I'm resting so you all could FEEL I am relax, and that ADD whole lots of burden to me. You told me you could HELP to take care the empty house and dogs, and now you told me you already got tired and wanted me to "settle" them, THEN please don't offer help, indeed, I will goto work everyday, meet my nice friends and colleagues everyday, and yet, i go home take care the dogs everyday, and i can still come back to the ward to see him and take care of him. I'm not superwoman, I'm not heroin, I'm not doing charity here, I'm doing things that I know he wants me to do even though he very very very sorry to add burden on me.
I want to say: it's our 8th years now, I never got tired to share my life with him, but I am now truly tired to talk to you all just to hope you all could understand me and him a little bit more. Please don't put words into my mouth, and don't stuff thoughts into my mind.
I will leave if that's all he wants from me.
I may rest as you wish if anyone of you could take over my role.
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